It’s often asked but is swinging cheating, really?
I can just imagine all the eye-rolls from seasoned swingers by merely posing this question. However, for those unfamiliar with the swinging lifestyle, it may be hard to understand how having sex with people other than your own spouse or partner isn’t cheating. Isn’t swinging cheating somehow? Doesn’t it circumvent the very notion of monogamy and commitment? Is it just permission to cheat?
Swinging Vs. Cheating
Firstly, let’s look at what cheating is. Marital or relationship infidelity can be easily defined as one or both partners seeking a physical or emotional relationship outside of the marriage, without the knowledge and consent of the other. In short, even if a wife knows that her husband is an affair, if she isn’t happy about it then it’s cheating.
If you then compare that with swinging where a couple engages in sexual activities with other people or couples together, the main difference is that knowledge and consent are completely present. No partner is sneaking around the other. The intent to have sex outside of marriage is completely transparent.
Isn’t Swinging Just Permission to Cheat?
Swinging is often termed as recreational sex as the sole focus is about having fun. There are no agendas when a swinging couple has sex with another couple. It is however something that works only if having sex with other people is an enhancement of the couple’s primary sex life.
In other words, a swinging couple doesn’t want to cheat on the other partner. They are generally very happy with each other in all ways that a marriage or partnership matters. Swinging isn’t a way of letting the other partner have sex with other people to ensure they don’t go off and actually cheat. Swinging only truly works if the couple are completely honest and truthful with each other (eg – there isn’t any reason to cheat!).
So Swingers Don’t Cheat?
I think we need to understand that swinging and cheating are completely different things. They aren’t really on the same plane of discussion. Swingers are no more or less likely to cheat than a non-swinging couple. If there are issues with the partner/s or their relationship, then a swinging couple is just as likely as any other to have arguments or end up cheating.
If one partner doesn’t tell the other that they plan to meet someone for sex (and they don’t have that sort of open relationship), then that’s most definitely cheating. Just because a couple engages in swinging doesn’t mean that they can’t cheat on each other. Ultimately, if a couple is having problems then swinging can’t fix it and that in turn can lead to one or both partners seeking comfort in other people.
Are Swingers Less Likely to Cheat?
I think a lot of swingers would agree that the lifestyle gives couples an outlet to explore their sexuality with other people but having sex outside of marriage isn’t intended to fill a void in their lives. Most swinger couples have a rich and fulfilling sex life with each other. They just do not have the same pressure that monogamy seems to exert on other couples.
Just as it’s nice to be able to get away for an overnight stay at a luxury hotel to break up the monotony of everyday life, so too does partner swapping add a little spice. It’s not something that’s done every day, but something exciting to look forward to when time allows. At the end of the day though, swinger couples are happy to go back to their own comfortable bed with their beloved primary life partner. Indeed, they perhaps have the best of both worlds!