You’re in a swinging relationship, however you’re starting to feel that the desire to swing isn’t equal. This situation is not uncommon, with many different factors having an impact on your sexual appetite and desires throughout your life. Many couples – swinging and non-swinging alike – will find that there is some sort of sexual imbalance at one point or another in their relationship, whether it be sex drive mismatches or appetites for swinging. But it doesn’t have to become a massive issue. Maintaining a healthy swinging relationship comes down to great communication and honesty.
No-one wants to be that couple where one tries to get their hands (and any other appendage) into whatever ‘opportunity’ presents itself while the other one sits alone in a dark corner. So what is the real issue with this scenario? Clearly, the person sitting in the dark corner just isn’t into it. There is rarely a situation more awkward than meeting a couple and quickly figuring out that one is there because they feel they have to be, not because they want to be.
In saying that, it may simply be a case of one partner not having as high an appetite for kinky fun as the other – perhaps to begin with in the night they are right into it but then lose their stamina and are happy just to sit back and watch. That is perfectly okay – provided that they are happy and content to do so and enjoy the fact that their partner wants to continue playing. In fact it could even be a bit of a load off (no pun intended) for partners with low sex-drives if their partner has other people around to expend their energy on.
If you find yourself questioning whether you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your desires to swing, sit down and have an honest, open and frank chat about it. If one of you decides that you aren’t all that interested in and would rather not continue, the other partner simply needs to accept this decision. It may even be a case of them wanting to continue and being happy with you continuing the fun for a little longer after they tap out, provided that they are present. Whatever the outcome, know that there is no right or wrong answer. Every swinging couple you encounter in the scene will have their own set of unique rules and will do things in their own way. Provided that it causes no tension between them – and doesn’t make play partners uncomfortable – everything is golden!
The best way to avoid awkward situations? Besides having that conversation with your partner, discuss these things with potential play partners and ensure that they know what is/isn’t okay and what to expect when it comes to playtime with the both of you. Some couples might not be comfortable with the way you do things, but that just rules out any uncomfortable in-the-moment scenarios.
Check out this article on some common swinging rules you might encounter in the scene.
Maintaining a Healthy Swinging Relationship
